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October 4, 2012
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i. I mistook a shy boy for a thunderous one in the days when I lived inside his lungs.


ii. I wanted your hands in the early morning, or in 8 o' clock light. (Does it matter? I just wanted you.) Hands like paper cranes, hands like wind chimes. Then we could've been like lovers in a parody: "I love you, I love you—no, I don't. But you are beautiful." And while I was not your lover, neither was I your queen. Either way, you wouldn't hold my heart.


iii. Our fingers would've taken flight and then the rest of us, too. Then you would've known of the ballroom in my chest, the migrations inside my body, of the tiny secret nothings that make their way like monarchs—as if by instinct, as if they have been here before—from ballroom to piano hands to the museum that is my mind to my stomach. But you are the only lost boy afraid to fly.


iv. I was a foreign land and you would not dare travel without a map. But I do not possess a souvenir shop in which to purchase one. I am a destination and not a stop along the road, and if you come to me, you stay, and that is why you never had to leave.


v. I took strange for wondrous and unknowable for mysterious. I thought that shyness was sweet and strength was beauty.


vi. I am the only one who will have my heart.
"in the morning when I wake
and the sun
is coming through, boy
you fill my lungs with
sweetness, and you fill
my head
with you"



Old, unrequited noth/feelings galore. I think I've come a bit of a way since the first piece I wrote about him, 11 months ago. [link] And I'm getting redundant with the whole shy gig but if you met him you'd know that that's the word for him. (it's taking me two weeks and counting to finish The Butterfly's Daughter because I don't have much time for it what with high school and shit, which explains how the monarchs snuck in)

A shout out to David, 'cause he knows what it's like.

:iconthewrittenrevolution:

Critique [link] on ~Hildetann's blue velvet, which was lovely.

I think I like this so rip it up and tell me whatever's wrong with it. Tell me what you think about the flow, imagery, and structure, tell me what you're getting from this, and general comments are loved. :heart:

No plagiarizing.

Pick of the Day over at :icondailylitdeviations: :heart: June 27 '13 suggested by *imaginative-lioness and featured by =LadyofGaerdon

:heart:FEATURED in

:bulletblue: #WritersInk's Weekly Round-Up
:bulletblue: Friday Night Features LXXVII by `dreamsinstatic
:bulletblue: =SilverInkblot's 2012 showcase of 100 pieces of lit
:bulletblue: *TheDarkenedBride's Friends Feature 17
:bulletblue: *imaginative-lioness' Literature Roadtrip Day 01
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:icontheeggo:
theeggo Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013
"Then you would've known of the ballroom in my chest, the migrations inside my body, of the tiny secret nothings that make their way like monarchs"
Brevity? Damn. You're too much
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:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013  Student Writer
Ahh know but is that a good thing or a bad thing?
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013   General Artist
lots lovely lines! :love:
congratulations on the DLD, mahal! :tighthug:
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:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Student Writer
Thanks Dee. :heart: and for the :+fav: as well. :huggle:
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013   General Artist
always, darling dear! :cuddle: :heart: :heart: :heart:
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:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Congratz, Ianna! :huggle:
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:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Student Writer
Thanks Kriz. :heart:
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:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Student Writer
damn, those last few lines. i love this. <3
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:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you, and for the :+fav: as well. :huggle:
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:iconladyofgaerdon:
LadyofGaerdon Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013  Professional Writer
iv. I was a foreign land and you would not dare travel without a map. But I do not possess a souvenir shop in which to purchase one. I am a destination and not a stop along the road, and if you come to me, you stay, and that is why you never had to leave.

This line broke my heart a little. Thank you. :heart:


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