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Poetry by 91816119


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Submitted on
November 5, 2013
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I hope she will kiss
each knucklebone tenderly,

turn the pages of your soul
quietly,

hold the fire you carry inside of you
close to her chest

and tell herself,
“This
is how he loves me.”
I have this really good friend who is all about strength and do you know that feeling you get when you just think the best people deserve the best things like quality education and memorable birthdays and good love? Yeah.

Wrote this about a year ago with the intention of adding to it, only just realized it could stand on its own. What do you think? Also, any suggestions on how else to break this up so as to ease the flow? Also, general comments and things.

EDIT 11/08 - formatting/line breaks changed per suggestion of *riparii who is shimmery :icongrinstareplz:

11/24 - :icondailylitdeviations: :heart: here thanks to =UnspecifiedUnknown :love:

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:icontheemptychest:
TheEmptyChest Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2014
Aww, so incredibly sweet. :aww:
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:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2014  Student Writer
Thank yoou. :heart:
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:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I love this, although honestly the title does not quite work for me. It just doesn't seem to fit...I don't know, the mood?

But seriously. The imagery in this is great, and the formatting is perfect.
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:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014  Student Writer
And I hafta credit riparii with the formatting. :love:
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:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yes! The formatting is great!
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:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014  Student Writer
I like the title myself though some people have expressed confusion over it. :laughing: Oh well. All the same, I'm glad you like it. :heart:
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:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I mean, I'm sure the title fits the person you had in mind when writing this. I get that.
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:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014  Student Writer
It's fine! I'm just happy you appreciate the rest of it. :huggle:
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:icontreasures-of-wisdom:
Treasures-Of-Wisdom Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is absolutely beautiful, and personally I think it is perfect in being short.  Anything more, I feel, would probably take away from how flawless this work already is.  And congratulations on your daily literature deviation. =)
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:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Student Writer
This is a late reply, but thank you so much :heart::heart:
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