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I want you to break
and never bend for me,

see my history
spiderweb your brilliance
till you belong to me
(and I, to you)
utterly and forever

and know
you cannot stop this.
”you are the never of my forever,
you are my love, my love, my love.”


The English’s translation of Carla Bruni’s song Le toi du moi is You Of Me.

:iconthewrittenrevolution:
Critique [link] on ~IOwnSarcasm's piece, in the seams. Go check it out. ;)

I feel as if it’s a bit short. Might edit or add it to something bigger later on. What do you think of the length? What do you get from this? General comments please. :)

No plagiarizing.



:heart:FEATURED

:bulletblue: =Sammur-amat's Special Sundae Feature
:bulletblue: Title used in ~RestlessSands's salt, for #TheTitlePage
:bulletblue: *imaginative-lioness' Literature Roadtrip Day 01


EDIT, November 25, '12: Oh my goodness, a DD, what the heck, this was so unexpected. :jawdrop: Thank you so so much!! :icondummylahugplz: :iconlawooplz: Especially to *Mrs-Freestar-Bul and `thorns!
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-11-24
I Of You by *Flummoxative ( Suggested by Mrs-Freestar-Bul and Featured by thorns )
:icontommyboywood:
tommyboywood Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Nice. Just change till to 'til (unless you're planting a garden lol)  
Reply
:iconimaginative-lioness:
imaginative-lioness Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
*dies*

I understand 100% why this piece received a Daily Deviation (congratulations, by the way!), it is beautifully written. You have chosen such wonderful words and you have arranged them incredibly - you have created such powerful imagery, especially in the second stanza:

'see my history
spiderweb your brilliance
till you belong to me'


:heart: :clap:
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you Madeline. :hug:
Reply
:iconrestlesssands:
RestlessSands Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013
ive borrowed your title for a found title poem: [link]

;) :heart:
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2013  Student Writer
:la:
Reply
:iconemo-art:
emo-art Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"you are the never of my forever"...I love that line ^_^
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Student Writer
:nod: Carla Bruni is awesome.
Reply
:iconemo-art:
emo-art Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
damn right! ;o
Reply
:iconsigma-echo-seven:
Sigma-Echo-Seven Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Student Writer
Shivered when I read this. Well done.
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Student Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconladyofgaerdon:
LadyofGaerdon Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Professional Writer
...wow. Congrats on the well-earned DD. :clap:
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you. :love:
Reply
:iconpumpkinfocker:
PumpkinFocker Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Very interesting! I like it! Cheers!
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012   General Artist
Woohoo! :squee: So very very very happy for you lovely! :love: Congratulations on the DD! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you so much. :la:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012   General Artist
You are so very welcome, darling! :heart:
Also I notice how I keep spotting priceless gems in your gallery, keep up the great work! :iconlaloveplz:
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
You are too kind love, thanks again, I hope I do (keep it up, that is) :blush: :icontardhugplz:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012   General Artist
I have no doubt in my mind you will! :tighthug:
Reply
:icongreywolfwarrior:
greywolfwarrior Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Awesome. Short and to the point.
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks very much. :)
Reply
:iconunspecifiedunknown:
UnspecifiedUnknown Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012   Writer
congrats :heart:
so well deserved
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
Thank yooou. :heart: :hug:
Reply
:iconvolotation:
volotation Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Student General Artist
c'est bien la photo
Reply
:icontheeggo:
theeggo Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
C'est bein la photo as well
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Student Writer
:lmao: gagi.
Reply
:iconvolotation:
volotation Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Student General Artist
c'est bien
Reply
:iconoviedomedina:
oviedomedina Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012
This is excellent!
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks, I'm glad you think so. :D
Reply
:iconoviedomedina:
oviedomedina Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
No problem!
Reply
:iconghost-of-raven:
Ghost-of-Raven Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It shouldn't be any longer. It says so much in a few words, and that's why it's brilliant. Every line has a purpose and seems like it belongs. Very powerful and wicked.
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
I'm super happy you think so. Thanks very, very much. :love:
Reply
:iconwallythewaffle:
WallyTheWaffle Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012   Digital Artist
I Of You spoken
gushed out, an escaped breath

the unstoppable
as brief as time worn, yet
engulfs eternity
(Lo and behold)
violet destiny's storm

this is
how I can see you.

^^Just thought it'd be fun to express my reactions in freeverse too. xD Basically I meant that I felt the length projects that it was expressed in just one breath. Not blurted out haphazardly, rather more like the speaker knew what she wanted to say and that she had to say it right then and there, but she wanted to use the right words. And all of that came out to her in one rushed yet precise and concise manner. It mirrors the peculiar title, where when vocalized, seems like a rushed "I love you," yet simultaneously projects the resolve of the speaker, where she completely understands what she wants and where she came from. "I of You" or I, From or Belonging to, You (projected from the old english sentence structure of Name and Origin; e.g. Helen of Troy).

Overall, great piece! c:


Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
Woah thank you for that, that was brilliant. Loved that ending as well

''this is
how I can see you.''


I didn't think of that (when vocalized, seems like a rushed "I love you") but I just tried it now and you're right. :laughing: Thanks so much for taking the time out to write this long and thoughtful comment. You're awesome, and I like your ID name. :love:
Reply
:iconwallythewaffle:
WallyTheWaffle Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012   Digital Artist
You're very welcome ma'am. Glad to see a pinay get a well-deserved DD. Ingatz ka diyan~<3
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Student Writer
:blush: Thanks again. Haha, ikaw din. :D
Reply
:iconmycatlikestuna:
mycatlikestuna Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Student
I would really like to see more! and I do have to agree, it is a bit short... but sometimes more isn't better, it just kindof depends.

:)
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks for the feedback. :D
Reply
:iconnita1521:
Nita1521 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I loved :) is so beautiful :heart:
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you very much. :heart:
Reply
:iconchloealoebear:
chloealoebear Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012
i'm writing a song back to you :D
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
Can't wait, then. ;)
Reply
:iconchloealoebear:
chloealoebear Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012
IK THAT SONG :P
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
Oh awesome. :D
Reply
:iconriparii:
riparii Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012
Pretty.
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you. :D
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the well deserved DD! :heart:
Have a nice day! : )
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks! :love:
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure :happybounce:
Reply
:iconkillio01:
Killio01 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Short but to the point, in a word, AWESOME! Congrats in the DD too ^w^
Reply
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